


Only Beginning

by CaptainSwanLuver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Marriage Proposal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:06:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSwanLuver/pseuds/CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian proposes to Emma, but his fear of not being deserving of her, causes the proposal to take an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So this was inspired by the BTS photos of that kiss from the finale that we were all freaking out about and are anxiously awaiting. This is my take on it. I felt like if it is a proposal then it must have happened before the kiss, so this is my idea of how it could go. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Only Beginning: Part 1/1...

Killian Jones was a confident man. He knew he was handsome, charming, and smart. He also knew he could navigate the seas like no other and had sword fighting skills that could rival the best of them. But when it came to matters of the heart he was decidedly less confident. 

Emma was an amazing woman and he constantly fought the demons in his head that said he didn't deserve her. He had done terrible things in his life, but he had tried to change for the better. Killian had tried to be a man deserving of Emma. But then he had become the Dark One. The swiftness with which he had let the darkness consume him frightened him. He was ashamed of the things he had done, the things he had said to her. 

It was Emma and Liam who helped him see that he should forgive himself. But that wouldn't happen overnight. Even so, he now believed he deserved a future with Emma and he hoped he could give her the life she deserved.

They had been home one week when Killian made the decision to propose to Emma. They were currently experiencing a few moments of peace that he was positive would end soon and he didn't want to miss his opportunity.  
...

David climbed aboard the Jolly Roger. He spotted Killian looking out at the water.

"You wanted to see me?" David asked.

Killian spun around to face him. "Aye, thank you for coming."

"Are you going to make me walk the plank?" David asked with a chuckle.

Killian laughed. "No, I have something that I'd like to ask you and I didn't want Mary Margaret to overhear."

David arched an eyebrow. "I assume it's something you didn't want her to blab about."

"I would have put it more politely, but yes." Killian paused, his expression growing serious. "First, I don't believe I properly thanked you for helping save me. You have my sincere gratitude."

David shrugged. "It's nothing you wouldn't have done for any of us. You're a part of this family, Killian."

"Thank you," he said. Killian cleared his throat nervously. "That is actually what I would like to speak to you about. Becoming an official member of your family. I'd like to ask for Emma's hand in marriage."

David tried to hide his smile, as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And if I don't give my blessing?"

Killian shrugged, his tongue swiping at his lips anxiously. "I plan on asking your daughter to be my wife no matter what, but I wanted to uphold tradition and out of respect for you."

"You know Emma. She does as she pleases and doesn't need my blessing for anything."

Killian nodded. "I know, but I also know you and I haven't always gotten along and your opinion is important to Emma."

David finally smiled as he patted Killian's shoulder. "Of course you have my blessing. I was wrong about you, Hook. I've never been so glad to be wrong before. You have made my daughter very happy and that's all I could ever hope for."

Killian smiled. "Thank you. I am very lucky to have found your daughter. She makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I only hope I can give her the life she has always deserved."

David held out his hand and Killian placed his in it. "It will be an honor to have you become an official member of our family. There's no escaping us now."

Killian grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

...

Two days later, Emma and Killian had a nice dinner at the restaurant where they'd gone on their first date and then walked hand-in-hand on the docks. Killian's eyes slowly moved from the water to Emma's face. The stars twinkled on the water and, after Emma, it was his favorite thing to look at.

Killian took a deep breath as they arrived at the end of the dock, the Jolly Roger floating in the distance. He turned to Emma, his hand still in hers.

He gestured with his hook at the ship. 

"That ship used to be the most important thing in my life. I had no one. It was my home, my best friend. And then I met you."

Emma smiled as he looked into her eyes. "For the first time in a long time I had someone to care about and someone who cared about me. I had someone who saw the good in me that I was positive had died long ago. And I realized that you're my best friend now, Emma. You're home to me."

Emma felt tears spring to her eyes as she looked at the man she loved. She brought her free hand up to caress his cheek. "I feel the same way."

"It took me a long time to believe that I was truly deserving of you and of a future with you. And now I can't wait to get started."

Killian dropped to his knee as Emma's mouth fell open in shock. He heard her gasp and bring her hand up to cover her mouth. 

Killian still held Emma's hand in his. "When I was hanging from those chains, dangling over that river, I never gave up hope that you'd find me. I have faith in you, Emma, and I have faith in us. I know that we can have an amazing future together."

Killian released Emma's hand and reached around his neck. He pulled a chain off of it, one she had never seen before. It was different from the ones he always wore. This was a white gold chain and a matching ring with a diamond hung from it. He held it up to her. 

"This ring was my mother's. She gave it to me right before she passed. She made me promise to find a woman who was worthy of it. A woman who would love and support me no matter what. I found that in you." 

Emma felt the tears begin to stream down her face. Her heart began to beat faster.

Killian's tongue lashed at his lips nervously. "Emma, I love you so much and I would be honored to call you my wife. Will you marry me?"

Emma couldn't wait to respond. She had never been so sure of anything in her life, but as she opened her mouth to reply, he cut her off.

"I...I don't want you to answer me right now," he said, his eyes flitting across her face.

Emma's brow furrowed. "But I-..."

He shook his head. "It's a big decision, Emma. I don't want you to feel pressured in the moment. People take their time making life changing decisions in this world. What university to attend, what job to get, what house to buy, when to have a child. Marriage should be given the same time and consideration, if not more."

Emma smiled gently. "Killian, I don't need-..."

He cleared his throat anxiously. "I recall when the demon monkey asked you to marry him you had to take time to consider your answer."

Emma shook her head. "That was different. I knew in my heart that things weren't right between us. I think deep down I knew that you were right about my life. I think I knew something was wrong. But just as I knew in my heart things weren't right between me and Walsh, I know things are right between us."

Killian stood up and held the necklace with the ring before her. "I know you've come a long way, Emma. You've opened your heart to me and I know that was not easy. We have been through a great deal."

"And we're stronger than ever now."

"Aye, that we are. But I don't want you to have any doubts. I want you to be sure that this is what you want. We will always have our challenges and I can be rather difficult at times. I want you to be positive that marriage to me is right for you."

"Killian."

He reached up and placed the necklace around her neck. "If your answer is yes, then I will know you're ready when you place the ring on your finger."

He then pressed a kiss to a speechless Emma's lips.

...

"Wait a minute. What do you mean you're sort of engaged?" Mary Margaret asked.

Emma held the necklace with the ring up, her lips sliding into a bright smile. "Killian asked me to marry him and gave me this."

David nodded. "I was wondering when he was going to do that."

Mary Margaret's head whipped in her husband's direction. "You knew about this and didn't tell me?"

David winced. "Hook kind of asked me not to when he requested Emma's hand in marriage the other day. He didn't want you to ruin the surprise."

"I would never do that," Mary Margaret said.

"Maybe not intentionally, but we know your history with secrets," David said.

Mary Margaret turned back to her daughter. "Let's get back to the sort of engaged part. What happened?"

Emma shrugged. "I wish I knew. He said such beautiful things to me and then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. But then he wouldn't let me answer him. He kept cutting me off and insisted that I take my time before answering."

David nodded. "I think he just wanted to make sure that you were certain. He didn't want you to feel pressured in the moment."

Emma shook her head. "I didn't. And I was sure. I am sure. I want to marry Killian. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't have any doubts."

Mary Margaret smiled. "Well, then tell him that."

"He said when I'm ready to put the ring on and then he'll know."

Mary Margaret nodded. "I think this may be a way for Killian to protect himself from rejection. He may have feared a negative response and he didn't want to hear a no from you. This way, he never has to. You could go on forever just wearing that necklace."

Emma sighed. "I guess that makes sense. But how could he think I would say no? I told him in Camelot that I wasn't afraid of the future anymore. I Iove him so much and I have fought tooth and nail for us to have a future together."

Mary Margaret patted her daughter's hand. "He's scared, Emma. You weren't the only one who closed your heart to love. I think he knows what a long, hard road it has been to get to this point and even though he knows you love him and want a future with him, there's a piece of him that still wonders if maybe you deserve better."

"Do you really think so?"

David and Mary Margaret nodded. Emma blew out a slow breath. 

...

"I heard you proposed to my mom," Henry said, as he took a seat across from Killian at Granny's.

"News travels quickly around here."

"I also heard you wouldn't let her answer you."

"I didn't want your mother to feel pressured. I want her to be certain."

"This isn't about my mom, is it? You're scared you're not good enough for her."

Killian arched an eyebrow. "Where did you get that idea?"

"I heard my mom and my grandparents talking."

"They said I'm not good enough?" Killian asked softly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

Henry shook his head. "No, Grandma said that maybe you were afraid you don't deserve mom so this was your way of avoiding rejection."

Killian cocked his head to the right. "Your grandmother is quite perceptive."

Henry leaned forward and met Killian's eyes. "Yes, she is. But my mother loves you, Hook. She wants a future with you. Why do you think she followed you down to the Underworld?"

Killian nodded. "I know. But I don't want her to feel obligated to marry me just because she brought me back. We could still have a fine life together without marriage."

Henry tilted his head to the side. "When I first met my mother, she was completely closed off to everything. Hope, faith, love. It took her a long time to believe in anything. But she got there. She started to believe in Storybrooke, in magic. She started to have faith in people and hope that things could get better. She even started to open her heart to a family she had always wanted. But opening her heart to falling in love? That was another story. Until you came along."

Killian smiled. "I remember the first time I laid eyes on your mother. Something inside of me said this woman was going to change my life. I think I was halfway in love with her by the time we got to the top of that beanstalk. And by the time we came down, I think I was head over heels."

Henry nodded. "But it took her a lot longer."

"Aye, that it did. For many reasons, not the least of which being that I was not a man deserving of love, deserving of your mother. But she made me believe I could be the good man I once was. She made me believe I could be a hero."

"You opened my mother's heart in a way I didn't think was possible, Hook. You make her smile in a way that I never thought I'd see. You support her no matter what and love her unconditionally. I've never seen her so happy. That's because of you. I will always be grateful to you for that."

Killian dropped his eyes. "This is where I struggle, lad. While the Dark One, I turned on your mother. I didn't care that she had saved my life. I was so hurt and angry that I said awful, unforgivable things to her. I just keep seeing the pain in her eyes when I said those terrible words. I knew precisely what buttons to push to hurt her the most. The lost girl, the abandoned child. I feel so ashamed for taking her insecurities and fears and using them against her."

Henry shook his head. "My mom knows that wasn't really you speaking, Hook. She knows that was the darkness and she knows you didn't mean any of it."

Killian slowly nodded. "I know, but it doesn't make the pain I caused her any less real. She had never looked at me that way before."

"She forgave you and traveled to the Underworld to find you. And we all followed."

"You would all follow your mother anywhere."

Henry shook his head. "We did it because you're one of us. And you would have done the same for any of us." Henry smiled as he reached over and patted Killian's forearm. "You're a part of this weird, wacky family, Hook. I think it's time you made it official, don't you?"

Killian smiled. "That's up to your mother."

Henry gave him a wink. "I'm pretty confident in her answer."

... 

The following day, Killian found Emma sitting on the porch of her house. She wanted him to move in as soon as they got back but he told he wanted to wait. He wanted to do things right. He knew it was old-fashioned, but Killian wanted Emma to be his wife before they lived together.

As he approached her, his heart sank at the sight of the ring still around her neck. He sat down beside her.

"You're a difficult woman to locate, Swan."

She smiled. "I'm sitting on our...my front porch."

He grinned. "Well, I checked your usual haunts first."

"You could have just called or texted me," she said.

He cocked his head to the side. "Now what would be the fun in that? You know I enjoy a good hunt."

They fell into silence for a moment, Killian's eyes moving to the stairs. He finally swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

Her gaze moved to his face, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"For what?" she asked.

He forced himself to look her in the eye. "For everything I said to you as the Dark One. I've forgiven myself for the rest and I know I was consumed by darkness. But I'm having difficulty forgiving myself for the awful things I said to you, Emma. I'm so sorry."

Emma smiled, as she reached over and linked his fingers with hers. "I knew that wasn't really you speaking, Killian."

Killian sucked in a breath. "But it didn't make my words hurt any less, Emma."

Emma shrugged. "There was some truth in your words, Killian."

He shook his head firmly. "No, love, there wasn't."

She nodded. "Yes, there was. You said I destroy my happiness quite well on my own. And I realized you were right. I sabotage my own happiness. I always have. I let fear stand in the way. But I refuse to do that anymore."

Killian smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

Emma nodded and then touched his face so that he would meet her gaze. "Then hear this, too. This notion you have that you don't deserve me, get it out of your head right now."

"Emma," he said, as he lowered his eyes again.

Emma shook her head sharply. "No, Killian, because you may not believe you deserve me, but I know I deserve you." She brought her hand up to caress his cheek. "I deserve a man who will never stop fighting for me. A man who will support me no matter what. A man who will love me unconditionally. That man is you. The man who said those awful things to me was not the man I fell in love with. You are the man I fell in love with. The man who would trade his ship for me, his home, his best friend. The man who would follow me into a portal, follow me anywhere. The man who would chip away at ice with his hook and try to warm me with a heater. The man who would bring me grilled cheese and onion rings because he knew I was looking forward to it all day. The man who would find a horse and bring me to a field of flowers so I could get some peace. That is the man I fell in love with and that is the man I deserve."

Killian lips slipped into a wide smile, as his eyes held hers. Her words took up residence in his heart. Maybe now he could completely forgive himself. 

His voice emerged barely above a whisper. "Well, you're in luck, love, because that man is sitting right in front of you, wanting to give you the world."

Emma's smile reached her eyes, as she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips.

...

The following day, Killian met Emma outside of the library and they walked hand-in-hand towards Granny's for lunch. When they had reached the archway leading to the diner, Emma stopped abruptly and turned towards him.

"What's the matter? You don't feel like Granny's today?" he asked.

Emma shook her head as she tried to hide her smile. "No, I just think we need some place a little more special to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Killian said, as he arched an eyebrow.

Emma's lips gave way to a smile so wide her cheeks hurt. She held her left hand up to him. His eyes grew large at what he saw. His mother's ring sparkled on her finger.

He still couldn't process it. "Does this mean...-"

Emma nodded excitedly. "Yes, I will marry you, Killian!" 

Killian grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he brought his lips to hers in a kiss. His arms slid down to her waist and he lifted her from the ground. Emma felt his tongue slip into her mouth as she lifted her legs into the air in a way she had only seen in movies. Her hand went to cup his face, as he slowly placed her back down.

She leaned her forehead against his. "I love you," she said.

"I love you, too," he replied, as emotion began to overtake him. 

"This is only the beginning," Emma said. "We are going to have an amazing life together."

He nodded. "Aye, that we will." He paused and then added with a lopsided grin. "Although I must disagree with you."

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Engaged for 60 seconds and already disagreeing with me."

Killian chuckled as he gestured to Granny's with his hook. "I have to disagree with your assessment that we need some place a little more special to celebrate."

Emma laughed. "Oh yeah?"

He nodded, as he tightened his arms around her waist. "Granny's is very special. We had our first real kiss right here on the patio. You asked me out on our first date while I was playing darts. But the most important moment we shared was when you told me I could be a part of something or I could be alone. Your words echoed in my ears as I sailed away on my ship and looked down at that magic bean I had stolen from you. And I realized I wanted to be a part of something. I wanted to be a part of something with you. The rest, shall we say, is history. We've shared many moments, big and small, here, Emma. I can't think of a better place to celebrate the beginning of our life together."

Emma placed a kiss to his lips and then linked their hands together. "I couldn't agree more."

With that, they walked down the sidewalk and into Granny's.

A chorus of "Congratulations!" and clapping greeted them as soon as they entered.

All of their family and friends stood before them. Balloons and streamers decorated the diner. A sign hung over the counter that read, "Congratulations, Emma and Killian!"

Killian's eyes grew wide in surprise. He turned to Emma, who was smiling from ear-to-ear, but clearly not surprised.

"Did you know about this?" he asked.

Emma shrugged. "Well, my parents knew that I was going to accept your proposal today and they asked us to meet them here for lunch, so I had a pretty good idea."

"So the whole we need some place a little more special to celebrate thing?" he asked, as he arched an eyebrow. 

She smiled. "It was a test. I was pretty positive you believed that Granny's is as special to us as I do."

Killian placed a kiss to her temple, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You know me well, love."

Emma turned to kiss him but didn't get the chance. They were quickly enveloped by their family and friends. And they wouldn't have it any other way.

............................................................................THE END.............................................................................  
Thanks for reading! I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give! ~Steph


End file.
